Cats in May by Doreen Tovey

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By Doreen Tovey

All our animals confirmed their independence at a dishearteningly early age.' The Toveys try to cool down to a quiet existence within the state. regrettably for them, despite the fact that, their tyrannical Siamese cats produce other principles. From inflicting an uproar at the BBC to staying out all evening and claiming to were abducted, Sheba and Solomon's outrageous behaviour leaves the Toveys at their wits finish. in the meantime Doreen has to take care of her husband's disastrous talents as a handyman, and a squirrel that chews the buttons off all his matches. either human and animal characters come to existence at the web page, together with Sidney the problem-prone gardener and Blondin the brandy-swilling squirrel. This witty and classy story may have animal-lovers laughing to the final web page.

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Sidney knew a parson’s duties, and he worried even more. Then he ought to mind, he said. He worried when the twins kept him awake at night. How long, he enquired – and some mornings, indeed his eyes looked exactly like a panda’s – could a bloke go without sleep? He worried when he thought he was losing his hair. Actually Sidney’s straw-like thatch never had been very thick, but once he persuaded himself it was going there was no end to the worrying he did about that. indd 61 15/03/2006 16:49:55 Cats in May arrived having flattened it down with water that morning, to see, he said, how he’d look when ’twas gone – we had to give him a glass of sherry to pull his nerves together What raised this particular incident to epic proportions was that unfortunately everybody, when they heard about Sidney’s hair, started giving him remedies.

Then, apparently having decided that altitude might help, he tried it from the top of a six-foot cupboard and nearly killed himself. Fortunately we were on hand to pick him up. His small button nose was streaming with blood and he had sprained his hind paw so that he limped for days, but after screaming hard for several minutes he calmed down, drank a teaspoon of brandy and water with the air of one who hated the stuff but knew it would do him good, and decided to live. His next escapade was really spectacular.

But squirrels – as, in those carefree, faroff days, Siamese cats – were hardly our cup of tea. indd 40 15/03/2006 16:49:52 Blondin a flourishing rabbit business. The idea was that he would sell the carcasses at tremendous profit to a shop and I – as Charles was continually pointing out, they had magnificent pelts – could have a fur coat. What actually did happen was that six months later, by which time we had a grand total of twenty-seven rabbits and they were costing us a fortune in bran and potatoes, Charles announced that he couldn’t kill them.

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